Loving my body

I know that i have been wanting to lose weight and i have slowly started my journey. Ive had some pretty recent speed bumps (ear ruptured, my kids surgery and complications, and trouble in  my relationship). Its been hard and i have questioned my self worth and body image when suddenly i realized that i hate myself. Now when i say i hate myself i dont just mean my overweight body but my attitude toward my life. I came to the conclusion that i need yo start loving myself now in my present skin and weight. I need to do everything possible to love myself for me before i attempt to better myself because otherwise ill always be in a battle to change my image because i will never be truly content with myself.
Now mind you this does not mean im going to stop exercising or eating healthy. It just means im going to take time to appreciate the body im in now because i am not going to change overnight. I want to have high self esteem i want to feel beautiful on the inside on my way to looking beautiful on the outside.
Im sorry if i dont make any sense!☺ Its all to clear to me 😜