Fat Girl Problems

Ok so i had been feeling good about myself i mean ibhadnt done exercise in days but i was feel energetic, beautiful, and happy. Then along comes a leaflet handing bitch to ruin it. I was walking outta wal-mart feeling great when some lady suddenly approaches me with a fucking weightloss pamphlet. Ugh!
I nearly killed that lady. Okay listen here weightloss, instructors, trainers, nutrition, and supplement people; if i did not go to your establishment or class or website or any type of social media outlet and ask you about your shit DONT SHOW IT TO ME. When you come at people bombarding them about losing weight and look at them with disgust because their shopping carts are full of things you dont like, you are adding to the fucking embarassment that i probably am already feeling.
I will vome to you when i want YOUR help.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Loving my body

I know that i have been wanting to lose weight and i have slowly started my journey. Ive had some pretty recent speed bumps (ear ruptured, my kids surgery and complications, and trouble in  my relationship). Its been hard and i have questioned my self worth and body image when suddenly i realized that i hate myself. Now when i say i hate myself i dont just mean my overweight body but my attitude toward my life. I came to the conclusion that i need yo start loving myself now in my present skin and weight. I need to do everything possible to love myself for me before i attempt to better myself because otherwise ill always be in a battle to change my image because i will never be truly content with myself.
Now mind you this does not mean im going to stop exercising or eating healthy. It just means im going to take time to appreciate the body im in now because i am not going to change overnight. I want to have high self esteem i want to feel beautiful on the inside on my way to looking beautiful on the outside.
Im sorry if i dont make any sense!☺ Its all to clear to me 😜

Getting fit with a Personal Trainer

I am excited to start working out with a personal trainer. I just feel like its the right time for this. And let me tell ya she is great. She motivates me and makes me feel important and also helps me out with meal planning.
I start tomorrow at 7am but i think she wants me to get there much sooner so i am going to say 5am.....i know my body is already craving the sleep i will be missing out on but i wanna look good. I wanna feel good about myself, confident in my own skin.
My goal is that one year from now i can be someone elses motivation to choose a healthier lifestyle and people will come to me with advice.
I will be posting daily on the workouts i do with my personal trainer and the workouts at fitcamp.
Wish me luck

Why dont these clothes fit???????

I have come to the conclusion that department store dressing rooms have fun house mirrors. Why is it that at the store the clothes you try on looks so good. The lighting and angle of the mirrors makes you look like a supermodel and then you get home.........
   The color is ugly
   Your muffin top shows
   And you look huge
I almost had an emotional breakdown at the store today. Why cant i just find clothes that fit. I guess i keep expecting to have overnight results. If only right???

Workout of the Day

Working out is always a challenging experience. Some days though ; i must be honest i dread working out but when im finished i feel empowered, happy, and full of energy.

Here is a small workout you can do if you are just starting i will be posting workouts i do and will try on my journey. If you have any suggestions for me feel free to follow me on facebook or google+

Late night cravings

Why is it so hard to control the craving to eat at night. You know in all honesty i think most times im not even really hungry im just bored and i cant sleep.

I need to drink more water to feel full or eat fruit instead of my usual chips and soda.

Ugh......sleep please come already im tired but i just cant get in dream mode

Emotional eating, Toxic behavior, and Lightbulb moment

I have never been skinny or fit. Ive always been overweight. I remember being bullied and being a doormat. My personality though, that was big in a good way of course. I was always the happy funny one. Ironic; because i recall being sad all the time.

I never realized that years of repressed feelings would manifest into EMOTIONAL EATING. Looking back now there were many clear signs; binge eating after crying, eating when i was nervous or bored, eating to avoid confrontation. I ballooned to 270lbs in high school. I hid my body under baggy jackets and sweaters(in hot texas weather no less). I was never really happy i felt alone even amongst "friends".

After high school things stayed the same. I moved away had to boys and began working full time graveyard shift at a factory. 72hrs a week 2-3hrs sleep max left me with little to no time to workout much less to eat healthy. I mostly ate vending machine junk.i gained more weight and was now at 315lbs. Morbidly Obese.

I i remember the day i stepped on the scale and saw that weight. It was a shipping scale which measured massive weights it was located in the walkway to the breakroom above the wall. When i stepped on and my weight displayed like a spotlight for everyone to see i felt so disgusted with myself.  For the first time i realized how enormous i had become. I knew right then and there my life had to change.

In December of 2013 i started moving more, going to the park, using stairs, parking further away, climbing up and down hills with my kids. I made small changes in my eating habits and lost 17lbs and was now at 298lbs. I was blown away if i lost this much weight with minimal effort; imagine what would happen of i REALLY tried.

And so the journey began now i am at 289lbs and now im REALLY TRYING

withdrawal symptoms !!!!!

I have not consumed any soda for almost a week and i gotta tell you as an avid daily aoda drinker i have been in agony.

So first, the headaches began. First it was a dull pulsing pain which then became a throbbing my eyes wanna pop outta my head pain. I gotta be honest i was angry all the time and my husband contemplated buying me soda many times just to see me in a better (happier)mood.

I decided that completly cutting out soda wasnt the answer. I mean i felt like losing weight was a punishment rather than a goal. So i bought a sprite, which to me satisfies the soda urge but doesnt have the same effects as dark soda. (Again its my personal opinion not an actual fact). I only had a small sprite once a day and let me tell you it really took the edge off.

Now i stick mostly to water, sparkling water, and teas amd shakes

introduction

My name is Elena and i created this blog to document my weightloss journey and as a way to make myself accountable and stick to it.

Im not a fitness or health expert; i am simply a regular person who is tired of making excuses for my weight gain and i want to better myself.

Come with me on my journey and learn as i do about weightloss, diet pills, clean eating, dieting, fitness, different exercises, motivational groups and people, and the emotional and psychological aspects of this whole process.

My goal is to be the person people look at and say "if she can do it, i know i can do it too" i want to motivate and inspire !!

So keep reading my blogs and lets lose that lard together lol





Starting stats:

Weight.       315lbs

Top size       3xl-4xl

Pants           24-26






Current stats 5/27/2014

Weight           289lbs

Top size        3xl-4xl

Pants.            22-24